Stepbrother: The Game He Plays Read online

  “Now, make a wish,” my mother said holding her hands up near her mouth, trying desperately to hold in her excitement.

  I closed my eyes and made a wish before blowing out all nineteen candles at once.

  “What did you wish for?” Justin asked from behind the camera.

  “I can’t tell you or it won’t come true!” I laughed.

  My mother walked around the island to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Happy Birthday, sweetie!”

  “Thank you, Mom,” I said blushing. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

  “Actually, it was Justin’s idea.”

  Justin smiled as he held the camera up to take another picture of me.

  “Thanks, Justin,” I said walking over to him. I gave him a small hug and he hugged me back with his free arm.

  “You’re welcome. Happy Birthday,” he said setting the camera down. “Actually, Joe picked up the cake after work.”

  I couldn’t believe he took any part in this event for me other than standing awkwardly in the kitchen with us.

  “Really?” My mother smiled lovingly. “How thoughtful of you, dear.”

  Her words were almost comical. I was sure Justin must have had to beg Joe to do it, but he would never tell me the truth about his older brother.

  Thanking him quietly, I avoided eye contact.

  He was unmoved by my halfhearted attempt to thank him, but it didn’t bother me.

  “I wanted to send this out to you with your mom’s card last month on your actual birthday,” Bill confessed picking up a big wrapped box on the floor. “But your mom wouldn’t let me.”

  “Oh, my God!” I laughed feeling truly invited into their world for the first time. “What is it?”

  “Open it,” he continued. “It’s from me and the boys.”

  I began tearing the flowered paper off the huge box. Inside was everything I needed to start snowboarding: an outfit, boots, and a board.

  “Oh, my God!” I repeated through laughter. “Are you kidding me?”

  “Do you like it?” Justin asked.

  “I love it! Thank you!”

  “You’re welcome.” Bill laughed putting his arm around my mother’s shoulders.

  “Thank you, Bill.” I took a deep breath and lifted my arms up around his neck. It was the first time I had ever given Bill a hug. It had always been the other way around for us. He accepted it by wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

  “You’re very welcome, Karley,” he whispered into my ear.

  I pulled away from him slowly, conscientiously telling myself not to meet his blue stare before making my way over to his youngest son.

  The hug between us was mutual and I was comfortable having him touch me.

  “I thought I could take you to the slopes tomorrow and teach you how to ride it.”

  “That would be awesome.”

  “Unless, you wanted Joe to take you to the big slopes and teach you,” he said jokingly as he smiled over at his brother.

  I glanced over at Joe who was still standing silently away from us all with his arms crossed over his chest.

  I had to thank him, too. After all, his father said the gift was from the three of them. And he did manage to pick up my cake, regardless of the reason.

  My pace toward him was snail-like. And with my eyes only inches away from the squared jaw of his flawless face, I thanked him quietly before my quivering arms reached up and cautiously wrapped around his neck, hugging him. His arms uncrossed and fell to his sides but unlike his dad and brother, he didn’t hug me back.

  His pounding heart hammered against my chest. Ironically, its fast pace slowed mine.

  I leaned away from him slowly, my arms still wrapped loosely around his neck locking my eyes on his magnetic blue ones.

  Every part of me relaxed. For the first time, I felt he wanted it that way between us. Maybe I wanted it that way, too.

  Later, after the exchanging of hugs and our celebration ended, Justin walked over beside his brother and gently pushed him, knocking him slightly off balance. Joe gave him a small reassuring grin.

  Whatever secret disagreement they had the night before was over.

  A decision between them had been made.

  Chapter 5

  Getting to Know Him

  I was finishing my braids when I heard a light knock on my door. I opened it slowly still holding the end of my right braid in my hand.

  “Good morning.” Justin was standing nervously in the hallway. He had on a dark blue thermal top and his snowboarding pants. The shirt fit snuggly against his arms and chest. I caught myself looking at him longer than I should have, and when he asked me something it took me a minute to remember what he said.

  Are you almost ready?

  “Yes!”

  My answer came out quickly. Too quickly.

  “Ah, yeah. But I need to finish my hair and grab my stuff.”

  “Okay, I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

  I closed the door softly feeling the slow, gentle spinning of the floor beneath me as I visualized the way he was looking at me. The pulsing in my chest sank deep into my inner thighs. It was a painful, aching, beautiful throb. I couldn’t look at him like that again.

  He was my brother. Well, kinda.

  Laughing at the awkward thought, I grabbed my board, boots, and gloves before running down the stairs. I expected to see him in the kitchen but instead, Joe was standing by the counter drinking coffee.

  “Is the coffee better today?” I asked jokingly.

  “What?” he asked with narrow eyes and a disgusted look on his face as he stared at me. Today, his eyes were dark blue like his father’s.

  I rolled my eyes and walked past him.

  “Nothing.”

  I took a small bite of banana thinking about how he looked at me last night after I hugged him, so I turned back around.

  “Do you have to work today?”

  “Yep,” he simply said taking another sip of coffee.

  “Do you like working there?”

  He wasn’t interested in talking to me at all … not even to make conversation until his brother showed up.

  Whatever moment we shared last night in the darkness had passed.

  “Where’s Justin?”

  “Outside starting the truck,” he said emotionlessly.

  Outside starting the truck, I repeated sarcastically in my thoughts. I wanted to smash my banana across his beautiful face. The small smirk on his face made me wonder if he had read my thoughts. I walked out of the kitchen, still taking bites from my banana and wondering why I even tried making conversation with him in the first place. He hated me.

  Justin opened the door and stomped the snow off his boots.

  “Damn, it is cold out there,” he said laughing. “You’re bundled up, aren’t you?”

  “Three layers,” I said holding my hand over my mouth as I chewed and talked at the same time.

  “Good,” he shivered. “Ready?”

  I took the last bite of banana and picked up my gloves. “Yep, let me throw this away.”

  “Let’s go, Joe!” Justin yelled into the kitchen.

  “Wait, I thought he had to work today?”

  Justin smiled and it was like he understood what I was thinking.

  “We’re just giving him a ride.”

  “No … I didn’t mean—”

  “It’s okay, I understand.” Justin laughed.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No worries,” he said walking up to me and zipping up my coat. “Not a lot of people know the real Joe. Not like I do. He doesn’t mean to be the way he is … he can’t help it. He’s all wired wrong up here.” He laughed pointing to his head. “But I still love him.”

  Joe walked out of the kitchen and Justin stepped back immediately. He said nothing as he put his coat and gloves on and walked past us out the door.

  After he was out of sight, Justin stepped toward me and laughed again. “Come on.”r />
  Joe was standing by the passenger side of the truck when I walked up to it. He was as unhappy as I was about riding together.

  Great, no backseat.

  I was the only thing in between them.

  I tried not to touch Joe as I slid inside but he was standing too close to the truck to avoid contact. I wanted to ride in the bed of the truck. I didn’t care how cold it was outside. I didn’t care if I was frozen by the time we made the five-mile drive. I didn’t want to be near him.

  The entire ride to the ski resort, I tried sitting as close to Justin as possible without sitting directly on his lap. He noticed. Joe noticed. But neither brother said anything.

  When we parked Joe got out as soon as Justin stopped the car, leaving the door open and disappearing behind the thick doors marked STAFF ONLY.

  Justin shook his head and laughed making small rotating circles with his index finger on the side of his head. Since he wanted to explain certain techniques to me and give me some tips before we actually went on the slopes, we decided to get a hot chocolate and sit in the food court.

  When we finally made it to the slopes, I tried my hardest to stay on my board but it wasn’t happening. Every time I got up, I fell right back down. But Justin was really patient with me. He would repeat the instructions he had already said at least two dozen times and give me more encouraging words before telling me to try again.

  Then finally, it happened!

  My board started moving beneath me and I stayed upright. I didn’t get very far but I could tell I definitely moved from my starting point. Justin laughed as he stopped his board next to mine.

  “That was perfect!” he said taking my hand and helping me up.

  “I only went like ten feet!” I said laughing.

  “But it’s ten feet farther than you’ve gone all day!”

  I punched his stomach lightly as we both laughed.

  “That’s all it takes. That one time of letting your guard down and trusting. After that everything changes.” I smiled at his words. “Now, do it again. Only this time, go at least fifteen feet.”

  I thought hard about whatever it was that I did in order to do it again. And I took off down the hill. I was picking up speed fast as I maneuvered my board around the way Justin told me to when we started over two hours ago.

  When I finally fell, I looked back to see a small figure of Justin at the top of the hill.

  “Oh, my God!” I yelled. “Look how far I went!”

  Within seconds, Justin was by my side.

  “That’s my girl!” he said picking me up by the waist and hugging me.

  When he sat me back down there was an awkward moment between us. It wasn’t the kind of awkwardness that makes you feel uncomfortable and wish never happened. But the kind that makes you blush. The kind that makes you think thoughts that you’ve never had before. Thoughts you shouldn’t be having.

  And looking at him, I knew he was having the same kind of thoughts.

  His eyes were the color of rain as they stared into mine. I didn’t know what to do.

  “Can I try it again?”

  “As many times as you want. I’ll be here for you.”

  For the next few hours, I got better and better. Justin was trying to teach me everything about snowboarding, and I enjoyed learning from him. He was kind and patient. He was enjoying his time with me.

  When we took a break to eat lunch, he wanted to find Joe while I used the restroom. Standing in the bathroom I stared at myself in the mirror. My face was pink from the wind hitting against it all morning and afternoon. My lips were in desperate need of the lip balm I must have dropped out of my pocket, somewhere on the slopes. And when I took off my hat, my hair was a tangled, sweaty mess. But of all the things I noticed, I especially noticed I looked happy.

  And I was.

  I was enjoying my day with him.

  When I walked out of the bathroom, I saw him standing in line at one of the restaurants in the food court. He waved me over, and I walked up to him smiling.

  “I think I dropped my lip balm” I said looking toward the slopes.

  “You can use mine,” he said reaching into his pocket. “But don’t laugh … it’s gingerbread flavored.”

  “I won’t,” I said taking it from his hand and rubbing it across my dry lips. Knowing it had been on his lips made it taste delicious.

  “What do you want to eat?” he asked looking up at the menu hanging behind the registers.

  “What’s good here?”

  “Everything,” he said smiling down at me.

  “Well, that doesn’t really help me make a decision.” I playfully elbowed him in the side.

  Oh, my God. I was flirting with him. Stop.

  “I’m getting the white chicken chili,” he said.

  “Okay. That sounds really good. I’ll get the same thing.”

  He smiled down at me as we stepped up to the register.

  “Hi, Justin,” a girl from behind the counter said seductively.

  She was as beautiful as he was—maybe even more beautiful. Her long black hair fell perfectly over one of her shoulders and her bright red lips glistened as she smiled at him.

  “Hey, Sarah.”

  “I think I already know what you like.” She giggled. “But what can I get for you?”

  I caught her sexual insinuation. He paid no attention to it.

  “Three orders of the white chicken chili and—”

  “Large or small?” she asked still smiling.

  “Do you want large or small?” he said looking down at me.

  “Um, small.”

  “Okay, one small and two larges and can I get three hot chocolates, too?”

  “Sure, anything for you, Justin.” She giggled again as she pressed buttons on the register in front of her. Her bright hazel eyes flickered up at him and I should have wondered how she seemed to know him so well, but I was preoccupied with the thought of his ordering food for three. He would only be doing it for one person. Joe.

  I just hoped his brother was eating somewhere else. When I saw him walking up toward us, I knew I was wrong.

  “Hey, Joe,” Justin said moving his body to the side so Joe could join us. “I ordered your food.”

  “Thanks,” he mumbled unappreciatively.

  “Why don’t you and Karley find us a table,” Justin suggested looking at his brother.

  “I’ll go find one by myself.”

  His behavior toward me was as icy as his stare. I watched him walk away fighting back tears of frustration.

  “He totally hates me.”

  “Trust me, it’s not you. He’s a dick to everyone,” Sarah mumbled.

  We both looked at her.

  “Sorry, Justin. I didn’t—”

  “How much is it?” he asked coldly interrupting her apology.

  “Um, twenty-three fifty,” she whispered.

  Her voice cracked and she tucked her chin in toward her neck, refusing to meet his hardened stare.

  Her words upset him. And most likely, mine did, too.

  “I shouldn’t have said that,” I said touching his arm. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault,” he confessed forcing an empathetic smile. “Joe does it to himself sometimes. He’s not the easiest guy to get to know.”

  My eyes followed his brother’s path across the food court.

  He was sitting alone and looking completely comfortable by himself.

  Yet, seeing him that way was unsettling to me.

  At the table, Justin tried bragging about my efforts but Joe couldn’t care less.

  Justin ignored his older brother’s disinterest and continued, “She struggled at first, but when she got the hang of it she did really well.”

  I felt the weight of Joe’s stare on me. He didn’t care if I was in pain. My eyes fell to the floor.

  “Joe’s actually a much better snowboarder than I am,” Justin confessed. “When we were in Boston last month—”

  Joe shot Just
in an icy stare stopping him in mid-sentence.

  “My point is,” Justin continued staring at his brother with redirection in his thought, “is that you can probably show her more things than I can.”

  “I’m sure she would rather have you … I wouldn’t be as gentle with her as you are being.”

  “Yeah, I’m definitely going to be sore tomorrow.” I giggled.

  Neither brother laughed. Their eyes never left each other’s stare. Finally, after a few moments of complete silence passed, Joe threw his spoon on his tray and walked away from us. My eyes followed. Justin was staring at him, too. This time his look of pain was replaced with anger.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  He quickly ran up to Joe.

  While he spoke, Joe was motionless and silent. He turned to walk away and Justin put his hand on Joe’s arm, but Joe hit it away. Hard. They stared at each other for another second before Joe walked away, leaving Justin standing alone by the trash can.

  His steps back were slow and once again he seemed filled with defeat.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” he said looking at me.

  He was lying to me.

  “It’s really not you, I hope you know that. Although I’m sure it seems that way.”

  Through the window, we watched Joe putting his hat and gloves on outside.

  “He has a lot going on right now. He has for a while. Since our mom was killed.”

  I knew Joe and Justin came to live with Bill shortly after their mother’s death but I didn’t know any details. I was never interested in anything that had to do with Bill or his sons until now.

  “Your mother was killed?”

  It came out too fast and without remorse.

  I wanted to take my question back.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

  “It’s fine.” His weak smile was courageous. “I’m fine. I can talk about it now.”

  He was lying. Unable to hide the pain in his eyes, he began to tell me the story of his mother’s murder.

  “Our mom was killed nine years ago. I was eleven and Joe was thirteen.”

  There was distance in his voice as he continued.

  “Our mom had a history of dating assholes after my father divorced her. Tom was the last asshole she brought around us. And he was the biggest asshole of them all.”